Friday, March 27, 2009

I Failed

I failed my mission. I am not going to beat myself up over it because I did not do it purposely. I started out with only the best intentions but this damned beast within me prevailed although I am not ready to surrender. Just a speed-bump.

I really wanted to take care of John yesterday while he was sick, and I started out checking on him and making sure he had everything he needed. By lunch time my body gave and I could no longer commit to what I so badly wanted to do- just give back to my husband. God bless him -he is one in a million for he was ok taking care of himself as I lay on the sofa for the rest of the day.

I am crying as I type this because these are the times I just want to say "Just shoot me!" I guess its a good thing I never had children of my own. I am thankful that I have Jennifer and now Payton who I so want to be there for. I also cry when I think about if I had to take care of Payton for one day, could I? Ok now I am really sobbing.

I did not choose this but I am still going to try to use it to my benefit and I am desperately trying to spread the word about Fibromyalgia Awareness. I am still trying to plan something for Fibromyalgia Awareness Day which is May 12th. Don't have it all figured out yet but hopefully I will have details soon.

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