Nothing Works but That's OK

Well I hope the holidays were nice for everyone and that the new year is starting off with a bang :)

I personally have been having a rough time for the last couple of months but within the last month it has been especially bad. It was more a matter of frustration because know matter what I do or what meds I take, I still feel horrible, and that really gets old when it continues on a daily basis. I was to the point that I was feeling toxic from so many meds, I was just going out of my mind. John took me to the doctor to see if I could try some kind of detox and then start all my meds from scratch to see what is really working . Well my Dr thought it would be best to change one of my current medications first to see if that helped. btw- I don't know if I mentioned before that I stopped taking my tramadol because I felt no difference on it than off of it. Anyway, we all agreed that the Cymbalta was just not working for me. It didn't help with the pain and it was starting to turn me into a different person. He decided to put me back on 450mg of wellbutrin and 40 of celexa. I haven't taken celexa in several years but back then I was taking 120mgs.

Currently I am feeling pretty good. I really think that the cymbalta was bringing me down and along with the tramadol I was like a zombie. I think that it is out of my system but I don't feel that the celexa has completely kicked in, at least not the anti-anxiety part, which wellbutrin doesn't have. I don't feel depressed just very agitated and snippy and I feel bad for those around me while I am like this because I am just snapping at everyone for no reason. Hopefully this will pass. I have also been very emotional where everything makes me cry but its not because of anything sad and its not a bad thing or stemming from feeling down, I just start crying. Hopefully this too will pass.

As for my pain. I have decided that there aren't any meds that are really helping. I am just taking hydrocodone as needed, which doesn't really do much but it does alleviate some of the pain which I am thinking is the arthritis pain. I am still always in pain without any relief-ever.

I am going to try a TENS unit and see if that works to block the pain receptors so that my brain will not know that I am in pain. The problem is it can only be used in one place at a time on your body. By placing the the electrodes(or whatever they are called-fibrofog again) where your pain is causes it to change the signal to the brain to "no pain here" :) Anyway, I hope it works-stay tuned.....

Frustration

Here I am again feeling like crap and I have felt this way for the last few days. I can never figure out why because things happen in conjunction. For example, I lowered my tramadol thinking it wasn't doing anything then I start feeling bad again, but the weather is also rainy and messy and I feel like I have a bad flu. if it weren't for the weather I could say that maybe my tramadol was actually working for me but since the weather affects me, I can't tell which is the cause in this case. It is so frustrating trying to deduce and factor to figure out what works for me. I haven't been using the oil much but when I used it the other day I am pretty sure it helped. My problem is lack of motivation and forgetfulness. I just don't think about using it every day. You would think that with my pain and all that I would do anything but my fatigue makes me lazy and I just lay there putting it off until later. I make it here to the computer on my bathroom rounds. every time I get up to go, I drop in and try to catch up on some e-mail and go back to the sofa. I am so behind on all of my e-mails, I drop in on facebook and care2 as well but can't stay for long. I feel really out of touch. I guess I am.