Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired

So here I am having another FM flare-up. Once again the weather is a contributing factor I'm sure.
This past weekend I went to a baby shower for Susanna (Jennifer's Stepdaughter) and had a very nice time. It was great to see everyone, including, Jennifer & Payton. I knew that this would wear on me because of the drive to Gastonia and just the fact of being somewhere for that long a period of time.
This whole week has been torturous for me and yesterday was the worst day of all. I literally could not move and got into one of my "why me" moments which I do experience every once in a while. Yes I try to think positive but sometime the pain does overpower that and you can't think of anything else. I actually cried myself to sleep last night. Yes even positive people have bad days too. I am human but I have decided not to let it stop me or take over my life.
I woke up today feeling pretty much the same. The old me would have stayed in bed all day, believe me I really wanted to do that today, but I had plans. My friends Brenda & Beth took me to lunch for my birthday and we had a great time. After that I even went and got my Pandora Teapot charm that I have been wanting for a long time with some money that my godmother sent me.
I refuse to let this thing win! Today is Payton's 3rd birthday and I can't believe how fast she is growing. We will be going out to Jennifer's tomorrow to celebrate. I will be there- no matter how bad I feel. I have to live my life and enjoy every minute of it. I know there will be times when I will have to cancel on someone, but I am going to try my best to pace myself, listen to my body, do what I can while I can. I do need to rest though, and I plan to do that starting Monday.
Once again- another confusing blog by "me"

Being Strong

Another day of awful symptoms. 100% chance of rain is probably a huge contributor. It just has not been a good month for me. This entire week has been nothing but "Red" days and I have become completely frustrated. I finally had to tell my Fab 5 friends that I could not go out Saturday for our Girl's Day Out. The plan is to go to IKEA and unfortunately I have to accept that I am physically not capable of enduring that and that really pains me. This is another one of those times that reminds me that I am disabled and I don't like it. I am not going to feel sorry for myself however because that really gets you nowhere. Plus John is home sick today-he thinks he might have the flu and he feels terrible. I really want to be there for him and do what I have to, to take care of him like he always takes care of me. I must put my fibromyalgia aside and be strong for him, although I will feel the effects of it later.

I can't really put my fibro aside, I just , for one, day have to ignore myself and how I feel, no matter how bad, so that I can do something for someone else. Everyone always says how you have to take care of yourself first, well this is different. This is my husband who has taken care of me everyday that he is capable and today I do what I must for him. I will pay the price without hesitation.

Having a Fibro Day

I feel awful today and I felt awful yesterday. We have some rain here so I am assuming that the weather is affecting my body. Yesterday. I got on the computer for like 5 minutes and then I had to lie down and I stayed on the sofa for the rest of the day and even slept there and could not get up this morning feeling like all of the energy has been drained out of my body. I don't know how to explain the feeling that I have from my skin all the way down to my bones. I know that it sucks being me right now, but I can't complain, my life is good and I am fortunate and thankful for everything that I have, especially for John who if it weren't for him I don't know how I would survive. My parents are the greatest too, they are always here for me too and would do anything for me as well. There are so many people with FM that do not have this and I really feel for them. I am truly blessed.

Frustration

Here I am again feeling like crap and I have felt this way for the last few days. I can never figure out why because things happen in conjunction. For example, I lowered my tramadol thinking it wasn't doing anything then I start feeling bad again, but the weather is also rainy and messy and I feel like I have a bad flu. if it weren't for the weather I could say that maybe my tramadol was actually working for me but since the weather affects me, I can't tell which is the cause in this case. It is so frustrating trying to deduce and factor to figure out what works for me. I haven't been using the oil much but when I used it the other day I am pretty sure it helped. My problem is lack of motivation and forgetfulness. I just don't think about using it every day. You would think that with my pain and all that I would do anything but my fatigue makes me lazy and I just lay there putting it off until later. I make it here to the computer on my bathroom rounds. every time I get up to go, I drop in and try to catch up on some e-mail and go back to the sofa. I am so behind on all of my e-mails, I drop in on facebook and care2 as well but can't stay for long. I feel really out of touch. I guess I am.

Bad Month

November has always been my worst month with my fibro. I don't know why. You would think it would be the weather but this year it has been unseasonably cold, it feels more like January, so I don't think that the temperature has anything to do with it. The fact that is is always in the month of November, not October or December, but November seems interesting. If I look back at the last few years, when I was working I always missed at least a week of work around mid-November and that's when I had a lot of doctors appointments. Another thing is that I love to go to the Southern Christmas Show every November. For several years in a row I could not go because of my fibro. I was able to go last year with my mom for the first time in years. We made it but we couldn't see the whole show because I had to leave due to pain and fatigue. This year I was able to go again with Jennifer and Payton and it was much better for me. When we got there the stroller was missing from Jennifer's car and I felt so bad for Jennifer because that place gets so crowded and it is so hard to keep up with a two year old. That was on Thursday, yesterday I was miserable. I had the worst headache I have had in a long time, my feet were abnormally swollen again and painful. The diuretic that my doctor prescribed didn't seem to help much with the swelling yesterday. Last night was our Fab Five girls night out and I wouldn't miss that for anything so although I felt terribly bad I went and had a good time with my friends although by 9pm I was ready to go home and lie down. We all left around 10:00 which is early for us but we still got to celebrate Lisa & Beth's Birthdays. I can't say this enough I have the greatest friends in the world and I feel so fortunate to have these very special people in my life. Today I am feeling a little better than yesterday but not much. I will just try to take it easy. I have already had to pee twice since I started writing this. The diuretic that I am taking is so powerful, as soon as you leave the bathroom you have the urge again to pee. I am trying to wait at least 5 minutes between times so I don't have to go every 2 minutes. Well, gotta go again so I guess I will end here for now.