New Attitude

So I said I might bring fibromyalgia back to the blog once in a while, well here it is. Yes I still have FM, yes I still have pain & fatigue and other symptoms but a lot has changed at the same time.
After not finding a medication that will work for me, just the occasional hydrocodone, which really doesn't relieve the FM pain just the other pains from arthritis, etc., I was partaking in many support groups both online and a local one here in Charlotte. I even started several groups myself, and my blog was solely about FM. I thought this is great to be able to share with other people who actually understand what I am going through and whom I can talk to. I thought this was very therapeutic until I noticed that my symptoms seemed to be getting progressively worse. I just blamed the FM as a progressive disease, which the doctors say is not. Well I decided to take a break from all of my FM groups and I stopped going to my local support group and something amazing happened--- I started feeling better! I have always believed that you take in the energy of what surrounds you, and if I am grouped with a bunch of people that are in constant misery, then I am going to feel it too, also being the somewhat empath that I am, I do feel what others feel. Oh I'm not cured, in fact I am in extreme pain right now as I type this, but yet I feel great! I know this can not make sense, but it does to me. I hate the pain, but I accept it and I have to live with it and I'm ok with that.
I haven't given up on my fibro friends who need my support, for them I will always be here, and I will always advocate for fibromyalgia awareness. I still drop in on my online groups about once a month to check in and say hi because I am still one of them-I just choose not to write about it everyday and about how life sucks and how I wish I would die-- No- I don't feel that way. Life is good! I am happy and fortunate to have what I have in this life and path that has been chosen for me.
The mind is amazing- creative visualization works- you have the power to control how you choose to feel.
BTW- I am also seeing a reflexologist who might have something to do with this change too but I think I need to take the credit for my mindset, because only I can control that.
Always smile, think positive, spread that positive energy to those around you- it is amazing what can happen.

Nothing Works but That's OK

Well I hope the holidays were nice for everyone and that the new year is starting off with a bang :)

I personally have been having a rough time for the last couple of months but within the last month it has been especially bad. It was more a matter of frustration because know matter what I do or what meds I take, I still feel horrible, and that really gets old when it continues on a daily basis. I was to the point that I was feeling toxic from so many meds, I was just going out of my mind. John took me to the doctor to see if I could try some kind of detox and then start all my meds from scratch to see what is really working . Well my Dr thought it would be best to change one of my current medications first to see if that helped. btw- I don't know if I mentioned before that I stopped taking my tramadol because I felt no difference on it than off of it. Anyway, we all agreed that the Cymbalta was just not working for me. It didn't help with the pain and it was starting to turn me into a different person. He decided to put me back on 450mg of wellbutrin and 40 of celexa. I haven't taken celexa in several years but back then I was taking 120mgs.

Currently I am feeling pretty good. I really think that the cymbalta was bringing me down and along with the tramadol I was like a zombie. I think that it is out of my system but I don't feel that the celexa has completely kicked in, at least not the anti-anxiety part, which wellbutrin doesn't have. I don't feel depressed just very agitated and snippy and I feel bad for those around me while I am like this because I am just snapping at everyone for no reason. Hopefully this will pass. I have also been very emotional where everything makes me cry but its not because of anything sad and its not a bad thing or stemming from feeling down, I just start crying. Hopefully this too will pass.

As for my pain. I have decided that there aren't any meds that are really helping. I am just taking hydrocodone as needed, which doesn't really do much but it does alleviate some of the pain which I am thinking is the arthritis pain. I am still always in pain without any relief-ever.

I am going to try a TENS unit and see if that works to block the pain receptors so that my brain will not know that I am in pain. The problem is it can only be used in one place at a time on your body. By placing the the electrodes(or whatever they are called-fibrofog again) where your pain is causes it to change the signal to the brain to "no pain here" :) Anyway, I hope it works-stay tuned.....